Drops of Words

1st session of CAFE

2009-09-01T19:13:00.000+08:00

So, every Tuesday, starting today, I am attending a course called CaFE which stands for Catholic Faith Exploration. It is initiated by the Catholic Evangelization Services (CES) in US. Basically, what we are doing is watching video presentation comprises of talks and followed by group discussion/sharing session.

I enjoyed the 1st session very much. The talk is presented by DaVid Payne, the Director of CES. Some points from his talk :
- what makes you a Christian is not the outside, but inside. It is true that outside is easier to be seen, but it is also important to make sure that the inside is fulfilled.
- our head and heart are only inches away but yet they are like thousand miles apart. Maybe we know God by our knowledge, but that does not mean He is inside our heart as well.
- everybody needs a time to rest from all the busyness of life. Let the spirit catches up with our body and mind.
- there is a void in the heart which only God can fulfill. In fact, He should be the centre of our whole life, which means we need to let him take over and reign in our life. and That's when the fullness of life comes into place
- We need to give God more space and time.

Then he talked about the whole salvation history from the beginning of creation, how human beings fell into sins, how God the Father worked in Old Testament time through all His prophets, how God himself came down to earth to bear the sins of mankind from the past, present, and future, the fact that we are buried with all our sinful nature and be born again with jesus' ressurection through baptism, how He sends His Holy Spirit, the divine person to be our Helper, and how we are now at nearly the end of this salvation mystery, when we are waiting with expectant faith and hope for the second coming of Jesus in glory, to judge all the living and the dead with love, and to invite and unite us once again with our creator in heaven, in our Father's mansion which is already prepared for us.

It is kinda interesting how He talked about the whole bible in only 6.5 minutes. haha. So for the next 6 sessions we will go through these topics :
1. Knowing God better (today)
2. Knowing God's Love
3. Knowing God;s forgiveness
4. Knowing God's Help
5. Knowing God's Word
6. Knowing God's Spirit
7. Knowing God's Hope

Hopefully, I can attend all these sessions, it is time for me to be reminded, explore more, and come back home :) Thanks God for calling me BACK HOME...

lagi pengen pulang

2009-08-30T02:48:00.000+08:00

as the title says

lagi pengen pulang

kangen rumah!

Lost

2009-08-29T07:59:00.000+08:00

I finished reading A Place Called Here.
I wish I could go to that place, whew lost things/people are found.
So many things I lost as far as I can remember. Ones I am longing to find are my excitement of life, my dreams, my companions on this journey, my huge faith, my sound of laughters, my feels-like-home, and my beloved bestfriends (nope they are not lost, but the feeling of being close to then was lost..)

~ Sometimes, people can go missing right before our very eyes. Sometimes, people discover you, even though they've been looking at you the entire time. Sometimes, we lose sight of ourselves when we're not paying enough attention. We all get lost once in a while, sometimes by choice, sometimes due to forces beyond our control. When we learn what it is our soul needs to learns, the path presents itself. Sometimes we see the way out but wander further and deeper despite ourselves; the fear, the anger or the sadness preventing us returning. Sometimes we prefer to be lost and wandering, sometimes it's easier. Sometimes we find our own way out. But regardless, always, we are found ~ A Place Called Here by Cecelia Ahern

Last Quiz

2009-04-06T20:55:00.000+08:00

some moments in life need to be celebrated or at least well-recorded.

So, today 7 April 2009, I am having my last quiz. It is Coastal Engineering course. I should do well since the previous quiz was a mess. I better should!

And this week also the last week of school before my last exam period which I will record later on :)

Nothing more than an overwhelming excitement.. ^^

Palm Sunday

2009-04-05T05:20:00.000+08:00

Hari ini dimulai Holy Week. Hari ini Tuhan datang ke Jerusalem diiringi sorak sorai dan disambut dengan meriah. Kadang saya ngerasa bersalah, welcome Him into my heart cuma untuk Dia menjalani sengsaranya later on.

Hari ini saya nyanyi Psalm di St Mary. Moga2 saya bisa nyanyi to bless not to impress :)

static?steady?

2009-04-03T07:37:00.000+08:00

I watched Gossip Girls last night, episode 20. There is a line between Serena and her old-time friend, Poppy which made me think a lot afterward. Poppy said to Serena : "wow, everything looks like the same since the last time I met you". I heard that million times as well. Be it in family, high-school friends, even elementary-school friends. My ex once told me I am from ICE_AGE era.

If you ask me, there is not a huge difference in myself. I am not rollercoaster-type of person anyway. I like to be simple and steady. Keep thing just the way it is if it is good enough and nothing to be changed. At least, until last night, I was okay with my life.

But maybe according to some people, this kind of life would be boring. I might think that my life has become a static one rather than a steady one. I should have gone wild, maybe. LOL. I dunno. Maybe if I took the Erasmus Mundus scholarship, it would make a difference and variety but I decided not to. I am not sure working life will allow me to do extraordinary, oops, not extraordinary but not-usually activities.

I have griends, girls mostly, who change drastically since the last time I met them. Is the change good? I am not sure. But they look fabulous, they enjoy life. It's not that I don't enjoy life. I am happy with who I am and what I am doing right now. Just wondering if I should do more to live it up.

However, I am different from what I was. At least I am better in terms of personality.

the subtle expression

2009-03-23T20:49:00.000+08:00

It's no coincidence. I play that song around you so maybe you'll actually listen to the lyrics for once and know how I feel.

http://pleasefindthis.blogspot.com/

lazy pig

2009-03-21T11:27:00.000+08:00

i have become a lazy pig lately. I know I must complete the rest of my fyp which I didn't manage to complete last week. But I just did not have the spirit to do it. I promised myself to do it this weekend, but look at me, i am wasting my time here...

i had a very fine week though. i finished Ransom My Heart by Mia Thermopolis (Meg Cabot), the novel is really really for adult! I watched Departures (very very recommended!), I went to a very fine and delicious dinner here and there, managed to attend daily mass+station of the cross, renewed my passport in KBRI after 3 hours waiting time...

Yeah, I did everything other than what I am supposed to do...

lalala~~~ i am such a lazy pig.

buang sampah

2009-03-10T20:05:00.000+08:00

i guess you know exactly how it feels when the superhero inside of you is tired. I have always been the strong one, there is time when I do really become the weak one. "SOON" that you are referring is the main reason why I became so disappointed and stressed out. It's not as soon as I want it to be.

tapi again, kalo Tuhan kasih manis2nya doank, He doesn't love me enough. Karena Tuhan sayang, makanya gua dikasih pahitnya juga. Just need to take my time to cry and mourn, I will do what I need to do in the end. His grace is always enough in my life.

Love you Mama for being there and listen to me. You're the best!

balance

2009-03-10T14:19:00.000+08:00

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

sendiri....

2009-03-10T07:35:00.000+08:00

sedih menyadari kalo pas gua butuh, in the end, no one is really there to comfort...
sedih menyadari kalo kadang2 gua pun jadi temen yang kaya gitu...

sedih menyadari kalo ternyata orang2 ga segitu care nya...
at the very low point of my days, akhirnya sendiri juga... *sigh*

gpp lah ada Tuhan yang nemenin. He's all I've got and He's all I need...
cuma Tuhan yang setia.. cuma Tuhan yang ga pernah pergi dan selalu ada...
ga cuma waktu senang doank dia ada, pas sedih, pas bete, in whatever condition I am, He is there... iya at least I have Him...

fuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i can do it. i can do it. no matter what. i can do it.
masalah gua ga seberapa dibanding orang lain, ga ada apa2nya....
gua bisa gua mampu dan gua akan melewati ini semua....
sabar ya mi sabar, tenang mi tenang...

updates

2009-03-09T19:16:00.000+08:00

i have signed the letter of appointment with LTA today, continued with medical check up in Orchard! hope I am healthy enough to work as a project engineer!

A bit drenched because of the rain! it's cat and dog rain, u know! I bought a new umbrella, coz I didn't bring mine. i will always bring one form now on.

finished my design project report last week, too bad the deadline was extended to next month! I should have rushed. but nvm at least i finished it!

working on my FYP report. due this Friday! I hope I will be on time to submit it, so next weekend I'll be as free as a bird! *make me remember of Flightless Bird song* A friend promised to go with me, tracking and sightseeing to Parks in Southern Ridges of Singapore! you better keep your promise!

endure a few more days! I can do it... He'll help me through it!

He's just too generous till it makes me greatly confused

2009-03-01T20:20:00.000+08:00

hari ini datang juga, harusnya hari ini jadi hari judgement.
jadi tawaran kerja LTA sudah saya dapat hari jumat kemaren, dengan gaji perbulan 3300 SGD, iya saya tau, itu besar, apalagi di jaman resesi kaya begini kan.

dan minggu lalu juga, saya dikirimin email lagi tentang acceptance erasmus mundus saya. Jadi tinggal tunggu akhir bulan Maret, lalu urus visa. Saya udah kasih konfirmasi sih.

Tapi sekarang kejadian kaya gini. kerjaan di LTA seems very interesting dan itu somehow dream job saya dari dulu. jembatan, tunnel, dst dst. I like infrastructures. sedangkan master saya di bidang marine dan coastal, yang saya sendiri belom terlalu ekspos jadi saya ga tau apa saya bakal suka ato ngga. dulu itu daftar merely karena saya pengen keluar dari singapore, cari suasana baru, apalagi dibayarin. sopo toh yang ga mau...

cari kerja itu benernya cuma plan B. tapi sekarang dihadapkan sama pilihan, kerjaan saya menarik, bosnya juga oke, kemaren pas interview terakhir dia yang jadi interviewer, ramah, asik, dan lucu. gaji is really more than expected. saya jadi mikir. apa ini panggilan buat settle down, menabung, craving the future ya? tapi saya juga mau cari pengalaman tinggal di eropa sana, mumpung masih muda...huffff

pilihan sulit. makanya judul postingan ini pas banget. Tuhan itu kadang super baik sama saya, sampe saya bingung... hari ini harus kasih keputusan ke LTA, pengen minta ditunda kasih jawaban sampe akhir maret..

minggu depan ada 3 report due nih, living with math, offshore, dan FYP report...
a bit too hectic for me, but I know I will go through it. maybe not perfect, but I am gonna survive, for sure. He is kind, isn't He? He will help me, I know....

rubbish bin

2009-02-26T11:48:00.000+08:00

susah banget sih ini assignment offshore. bukan susah, tapi repot

fyp juga geje. si orang korea itu inggrisnya super duper sulit dimengerti

capek ini badan, apalagi pikiran

tapi Trondheim, the first city for my EM program is awesome. I can't wait to be there.

besok interview LTA lagi, mau berapa kali interview sih, banyak bener...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

living with math, projectnya juga belom dikerjain aaaaaaaaaaaaa

http://pleasefindthis.blogspot.com

2009-02-16T09:07:00.000+08:00

This blog is ROCKing, man!

I love it...

Some of My fave :

So if all we have is that glance in the window. If all we have is till this train stops. If all we have is till the sun comes up, till your lift picks you up. And If all we have is till the day I die. I'm ok with what we have.

But really, all we want, and I speak for the entire human race here, is contact. Someone to let us know that we aren't alone. That the world isn't a dream and you and I really are happening at the same time, even if it's not in the same place. That this is real. You're really there. I'm really here. We're real.

my 14 feb

2009-02-14T18:46:00.000+08:00

it was not a special day, i thought

but thank God, it is

I am happy

I am afraid too

however thanks a zillion, for making me special in one way or another

i dun think we need words to explain things...

i hope

amazingly blessed

2009-02-10T20:39:00.000+08:00

from	Inge van Rooij - CITG
to		naomi.pratiwi@gmail.com
date		Tue, Feb 10, 2009 at 7:10 PM
subject		2 - Letter accepted CoMEM under condition
mailed-by		tudelft.nl

hide details 7:10 PM (6 hours ago)

Dear Mrs. Pratiwi,

Thank you for your application to the Coastal and Marine Engineering and Management Programme (CoMEM) and the Erasmus Mundus Scholarship

The Board of CoMEM has received more than a 100 applications for a limited number of scholarships. It gives the Board a great pleasure to inform you that you have been nominated for an Erasmus Mundus scholarship, under the condition that you submit the English test score report.* The applications will be submitted for approval to Brussels by 28 February, 2009. The Erasmus Mundus authorities will inform us of their decision after which we will contact you hopefully in the month of April.

In case you have made alternative plans and will decline the offer of the Scholarship, please inform us as soon as possible, so we can award a candidate from the reserve list.

On behalf of the CoMEM Board congratulations.

Yours sincerely,

Prof. Dr.Ir. M.J.F.Stive

CoMEM Coordinator

*submit to: msc2@tudelft.nl

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inge van Rooij/Secretary

Delft University of Technology
Faculty of Civil Engineering and Geosciences
Section of Hydraulic Engineering / CoMEM
P.O. Box 5048 Stevinweg 1
2600 GA Delft 2628 CN Delft
the Netherlands

Tel.: +31 (0)15 – 278 2811
Fax: +31 (0)15 – 278 5124

www.waterbouw.tudelft.nl
www.water.tudelft.nl

------------------------------

So, TOEFL Test on Valentine's Day. *Cross finger, close hands, pray hard* Pray for me. The email is only a start of a more exciting and thrilling waiting journey for the final decision in April. But, however, I still want to shout out loud!

THANKS BE TO GOD and PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME! There is none like Him, seriously...Thank you Lord for all you've done!

Completely - Ana Laura

2009-02-09T09:55:00.000+08:00

The secret of life is letting go
The secret of love is letting it show
In all that I do
In all that I say
Right here in this moment

The power of prayer is in a humble cry
The power of change is in giving my life
And laying it down
Down at your feet
Right here in this moment

chorus:
Take my heart
Take my soul
I surrender everything to your control
And let all that is within me lift up to you and say
I am yours and yours alone
Completely

This journey of life is a search for truth
This journey of faith is following you
Every step of the way
Through the joy and the pain
Right here in this moment

Right here, right now, and for the rest of my life
Hear me say

I am yours and yours alone
Completely

one fine day

2009-02-08T13:09:00.000+08:00

yesterday was the best day until now
had a meeting with dearest bro and sis

attended a very great seminar on Liturgical Music with Fr. Cyprian

went for an outing with the bestest friend
had a fulfilling and satisfying pork rib and dessert at Cafe Cartel
watched a great movie ' The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'
a close up Brad Pitt (he's HOT) right in front of my eyes ( I sat in the center of the first row )
nice walk under the moon and stars on the bright sky

Loved it! I was happy as I could ever be. Thanks Lord! Thanks to you...

grey

2009-02-06T15:26:00.000+08:00

my mom always think grey is nice
she painted the furniture in house with grey colour
i always think grey is not that exciting, a bit gloomy
but suddenly i like grey
coz he looks good in grey =p

yesterday he wore grey T-shirt
he looked good by the way

unwell

2009-02-05T19:57:00.000+08:00

unwell lately. FYP stuck. anxious for job interviews though i do not really expect a lot from it. still put my hopes high on Erasmus Mundus application. gotta let go and let God!

FYP FYP FYP God please help meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wanna scream where no one can hear me! Any place to recommend?
nvm lah, smile will be a lot better cure than else. SMILE ;)

i wish july come sooner

2009-02-01T22:28:00.000+08:00

Argh... i just saw my friends' graduation photos. i mean friendSSSSS, a lot of them!

Haiz.. almost all my friends from my high school are having their convocation this month.
And most of them god Cum Laude! Okay, now i am proud of being an alumni of SMUK 1 BPK Penabur Jakarta. hahaha... produces so many great people, not only smart in using their brain to do academic stuff, but people with high level of personality and quality. They are all amazing!

I am a bit depressed now. They have finished one task in life, I am still here, going nowhere with my FYP. but enough said, I am gonna do it fine! And watch for my turn next July.

If only I could fast forward the time. July come fast. Or at least, march, the deadline for my first draft of FYP.... i wish.... aaaaaaaaa

been a while

2009-01-29T22:21:00.000+08:00

i am quite overwhelmed lately with LISC
i neglected my fyp
i neglected my own health

too many things to think
maybe i do not do it out of love for His people, even for God? I dunno...

a bit envy lovey-dovey couples around me ;)
yeah, it will go away soon, i mean, the feeling and stuff

sometimes i wish i could be in 2 place at 1 time

2009-01-21T10:23:00.000+08:00

currently my mom is so confused about my bro's wedding
everyone is getting a bit too sensitive, get angry too easily...
must watch your words when you talk to ppl who will get married in 1 month time

i wish i were there. I know i may not be able to do anything significant
but i can listen
i can comfort somehow

wedding is supposed to be a happy event
for the bride and bridegroom
and for the family
but why to prepare one has to this painful and irritating?
i guess it depends on how people take perspective

i want a simple one for my own
as long as i am happy with the right prince
my family is happy
i have my best friends celebrating the big day together with me
that should be enough...

i am a bit lost here

2009-01-17T22:21:00.000+08:00

gimana cara nahan si partiket steel plate biar ga lari

dibikin fix malah kena tembus kaya hantu

duh gimana ya

i am a bit lost here...

i need vacation, i need to be around with many people, so i won't feel as lonely as I am feeling right now. yeah lonely lah ya wong udah jam 3.30 am.

pengen pulang, there i can find people who love me without reasons. and whom i can love without feeling any guilt or fear. lately, i ve been warned by some people, dun be too good to the person... can lead to wrong perception...

Friday, January 16 2009, 3:05 am

2009-01-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

he was once the owner
yet he left whom he shouldn't leave
then she asked him to return
but he just keep walking away, bye2

another he filled her day
with nice dinners and lots of adventure
but he left, or she left, whatever
no one knows what happened

the other he came
obviously was from another pole
but he is what any-she could asked for
and he doesn't seem interested

the last he is whom she spend her evenings
difference makes it difficult
however she feels comfy
she hopes he won't fall too deep

she enjoys all the moments
she treasures every he
they are special in their own way
but she just needs more time to wander around

any he wanna wait?

schedule is settled, master application is settled, job hunting on the way

2009-01-09T11:29:00.000+08:00

My schedule is settled : i am taking Offshore Engineering, Coastal Engineering and Living with Math. Hope I will do well this semester. ;) and now i will concentrate on my FYP.

Master applications are also settled. 3 of them. Hopefully at least one will GOAL! I hope so.

Job hunting on the way. Preparing resume and everything. LTA and Keppel next week.

I will go back on 18 Feb for my bro Daud's wedding. Haven't decided on the return date to Singapore. It depends on my FYP progress. I hope I can spend the whole recess home.

My dad is sick again today. I pray that he will be recover soon.. please help me pray for him.

life is all that...

Thien Nhan

2009-01-08T08:25:00.000+08:00

He is a very sweet boy with an amazing smile
I know he is a blessing to people around him
even to person like me, he reminds me and teaches me many things..

being abandoned after his birth
mauled by a wild animal in a jungle
lost one of his leg and his genital
left uncared with his original family

blessed with a new loving family who adopted him
received donation for his surgery from ppl all over the world

He is a living witness that there is still good people in this world

http://help-thien-nhan.blogspot.com/
http://barrybland.typepad.com/my_weblog/thien-n.html

nothing is going right nowadays

2009-01-07T19:53:00.000+08:00

Erasmus Mundus application progress

2009-01-06T19:30:00.000+08:00

As I said, nothing to lose applying for this scholarship. If I am not accepted, that's totally fine, I will work and find a rich guy and marry him straight away LOL.

1. Dear Mrs Naomi Pratiwi,

We confirm receipt of the hard copies of your MSc application documents.

You herewith receive your PERSONAL MSC REGISTRATION NUMBER: 9750.
You must use this number when corresponding with TU Delft.

We will forward your application for MSc programme COMEM to the MSc selection committee.

As soon as the committee has taken the admission decision we will inform you by e-mail.

Kind regards,

International Office
Delft University of Technology

2. Dear Naomi Pratiwi,
Your Application form to the Advanced Masters in Structural Analysis of Monuments and Historical Constructions has been successfully submitted.

Thank you.

I still need more time to send the hardcopy to Portugal. Hopefully this one will be less troublesome than the first one to the Netherlands ;)

Blue Christmas - I like blue

2008-12-28T11:58:00.000+08:00

A lot has happened recently. I spent Christmas with no other celebration other than meeting baby Jesus in person during Eucharist. It was enough. Thank God for giving me and our family the real meaning of Christmas. 2000 years ago, when Mary and Joseph went around to search for an inn, they were in great fear, anxieties, and disappointments. And those were exactly what I felt this Xmas. My father was hospitalized, he was in a very bad condition due to his heart problem. That's I called this Christmas as a Blue Christmas.

But I like blue. So it doesn't mean that this year Christmas is bad. I love it. I found the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus, who come to become like us, human, in flesh clears all our fear, anxieties, and disappointments. He brings HOPE, hope for all people despite unfavorable condition that we are facing, He is here, with us and for us. The angel said Do not be afraid to the shepherds. And he said that to me and my family as well I guess. Though the condition of my father is still not stable, I know that He will protect and He will show His greatness and power.

I spent 2 nights in hospital with my mom. I saw the most wonderful mom and wife in the world. With her patience, dedication, strength, and faithfulness. It taught me a lot of lessons and I am thankful to God for her. Yes, she was in misery too, she is super exhausted too, mentally and physically, but she never quit. She took of care of my father with love that I've never seen elsewhere before, she took care of us, her children without failure as well. I hope someday I can be someone like her...

I missed reunion session with my 3IPA4 friends. But guess what, they visited my father while he was in emergency. I couldn't see them because at that time I was in home, took some changing clothes for my dad and mom. But I was so touched by their love for me. Thanks God for giving me friends that care... Those I do not expect to care has shown great love and attention towards me...Thanks God for them.

Thanks for any other friends who support me and my family in any ways. I really appreciate that. Please pray for my dad, that's all we need right now. May He get better and may we all can see the miracle of Christmas. Amen.

Christmas Concert

2008-12-18T11:38:00.000+08:00

I will watch a concert tomorrow. *excited*

SINGAPORE – The Archdiocesan Liturgical Music Committee is presenting the inaugural concert of the Archdiocesan Combined Youth Choir at the Victoria Concert Hall on Friday Dec 19 at 8.00pm.

The choir is a platform for youth from all parts of the archdiocese to come together and discover their faith through the rich musical heritage of the Catholic Church.

The combined choir at present comprises four youth choirs – St. Francis Xavier Youth Choir (Church of St. Francis Xavier), St. Thomas Aquinas Choir (Church of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary), Christus Laudatur Voce Choir (Church of the Risen Christ), and Genesis II Choir (Church of the Holy Family).

Each choir will be presenting some of its favourite pieces ranging from soulful gospel to inspiring original compositions. The highlight of the concert is the combined choir bringing you that festive cheer with Christmas classics like Joy to the World and O Come All Ye Faithful, accompanied on the concert hallʼs grand organ.

So treat your family to this pre-Christmas performance and join Archbishop Nicholas Chia in supporting these young people in their endeavour to share Christ through the gift of song.

Source : http://www.catholic.org.sg/cn/wordpress/?p=3255

Advent Reflection 2008 - Week3

2008-12-17T08:29:00.000+08:00

3rd week of Advent
Isaiah 61:1-2; 10-11, 1 Thes 5:16-24, John 1:6-8, 19-28

This week is about joy. That's why the liturgical colour of this week is PINK. It represents joy and thanksgiving of Isaiah, Mary, and the encouragement from St Paul to Thessalonians, that we should be joyful and give thanks in all circumstances because of Lord Jesus Christ.

It is a special week because I sang Psalm and moreover the Psalm is The Magnificat, prayer of thanksgiving of Mary (Luke 1:46-56). It is such a privilege for me to be given a chance to put myself in Mary's shoes, to reflect her thanksgiving of God's mercy, her trust for God's plan. My favorite line of the Maginificat : From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me, Holy is His Name.

The reflections talk more on loneliness. Everybody has once experienced loneliness. I, too, often feel lonely like no one really wants me and needs my presence. No one really care about me. But, a lot of people out there have better reasons to feel uncared by God; Starvation, poverty, war. In a simple way, a lot of friends around us need a friend, need a listening ear from us. We often say that we simply don't have time to care about others' problems. We already have a lot of problem on our own. Yeah, it's me at least. Sometimes I feel, I even can't solve my own problem, how should I bother to know other people's misery. It will just make my life even worse.

And that's the point. Remember the Gospel that says that everything we do for the least of His people, we do it for Him? (Matthew 25:40). God is present in those who are in need and when we refuse to do something for them, we refuse God. Such a waste of opportunity. It is my biggest regret that in this Advent season, I failed to recognize God in those around me, I failed to do something for God...

It is time for all of us to offer friendship to others joyfully, even in the midst of our own troubles and pains, without being preoccupied if they deserve it and calculating what we can get in return.

Advent Reflection 2008

2008-12-17T07:57:00.000+08:00

Last Monday, I went for penitential service in SFA. It was the most beautiful moments for me throughout Advent this year. I was too busy during Sunday mass every week since I play keyboard so I can't really reflect on each week of Advent. But last Monday, I felt that God himself talked to me and gave me a lot of things to reflect and I am gonna share with you. I will quote some here and there from the booklet.

The booklet of Advent Reflection provided for parishioners throughout the island is a very very good one. The title is Being a People of Hope. The preface told us that sometimes planning is important for our lives, but we must also allow God, give room for God, to surprise us. I myself want to surrender and trust God more, to allow God reveal His plan for my life rather than think hard of what I want to become and how I achieve that. Do necessary things I should do with one direction which is to fulfill God's purpose in my life. By being closer to Him each day, I would be able to understand His purpose clearer.

1st week of Advent :
Isaiah 63:16-17;64:2-7; 1Cor 1:3-9; Mark 13:33-37

"We are the clay and you are the potter; we are the work of your hands". As we know, potter don't make a clay in mass production, but one by one. And that's how exactly God made us, unique and moreover, He created us with love. Therefore, we are all precious to Him. I am special, there is no other me everywhere else in the world. We are not only beautiful but also useful, He will help us to bring out the best out of our flaws, if we allow Him to.

During the penitential service, Fr Gitner told us a story about how a tribe in Mexico celebrate Christmas. A woman within the tribe is required to make a stole for the priest to be used in the Christmas Mass. And while making the stole, she should make one mistake when stitching each thread. What is the purpose behind that? It reflects that all of us has a flaw, no one in perfect, and we have something that only we ourselves and God know.

Relevant quotes :
- Pope Benedict XVI Spe Salvi : The power of purification comes from an encounter between my intimateself and God.
- St Augustine : My heart is restless, O Lord, until it finds rest in You.

Lord, help me to always realize that I am special and no matter what, I am loved. You made me beautiful and I want to be useful too for Your Kingdom on earth. Draw me closer to You each day so I may understand my purpose in life. Forgive me for what I have done and what I have failed to do. Holy Spirit, help me to always be faithful. Mother Mary, pray for me. Amen.

2nd week of Advent: Isaiah 40:1-5, 2 Pet 3:8-14, Mark 1:1-8
This week first reading tells us that our hope lies in God's promise of care and deliverance (Is 40:1). God is our shepherd who feed us, gathers us close, holds us and leads us to what we need most. Our pain and suffering take on new meaning because our Emmanuel, God is with us, has experienced human suffering and death. But it doesn't end there, Jesus is raised to life by the power of the Holy Spirit and this it the Good News, our real hope.

The Good News can't be spread to others if we do not take part in God's mission. We must follow John the Baptist, who prepared the way for the Lord and make straight paths for Him (Mark 1:1). Personally, I don't feel too comfortable to talk about my own faith to others. I don't dare to witness God's mercy and love in my life when I talk to people whom I don't know very well, even they

FYP

2008-12-15T12:28:00.000+08:00

so, the model is ready.
Gotta find out how to set the initial velocity and figure out the effects on the steel plate and aggregates inside. Wondering why I can't make the colors for each part different. hmmm....

Enough for today.

So, this is the FISH code for PFC2D
new

def setup
;--- input data ---
n_stiff = 1e8 ; normal contact stiffness
s_stiff = 1e8 ; shear contact stiffness
width = 10 ; width of box
height = 5 ; height of box
poros = 0.12 ; porosity
rat = 1.2 ; ratio of largest to smallest radii
;--- derived data ---
mult_0 = 1.5 ; initial radius multiplication factor
mult_a = 0 ; storage for l.h. radius multiplier
mult_b = 0 ; storage for r.h. radius multiplier
id1 = 0 ; storage for initial ID number
id2 = 0 ; storage for final ID number
end

set random

set disk on
setup
wall id 1 ks=s_stiff kn=n_stiff nodes (0,0) (width,0)
wall id 2 ks=s_stiff kn=n_stiff nodes (width,0) (width, height)
wall id 3 ks=s_stiff kn=n_stiff nodes (width, height) (0,height)
wall id 4 ks=s_stiff kn=n_stiff nodes (0,height) (0,0)
wall id 5 ks=s_stiff kn=n_stiff nodes (9,0) (9,height)

def regular
xc=x0
yc=y0
rc=radius
idc=id_start
r2 = 2*radius
yinc=radius*2

loop row (1,n_row)
loop col (1,n_col)
command
ball id = idc x=xc y=yc rad=rc
end_command
idc= idc+1
xc=xc+r2
end_loop
yc=yc+yinc
xc=x0
end_loop
end

def make_block
tot_vol = (x2-x1)*(y2-y1)
num = id2-id1+1
n0 = 1-(1-poros)/mult_0^2
r0 = sqrt (tot_vol*(1-n0)/(pi*num))
rlo = 2 * r0/(1+rat)
rhi = rat*rlo

command
gen id=id1, id2 rad=rlo,rhi x=x1,x2 y=y1,y2
prop dens=1000 ks=s_stiff kn=n_stiff range id=id1,id2
end_command

get_poros
mult = sqrt((1-poros)/(1-pmeas))
end

def get_poros
sum=0
bp=ball_head
loop while bp # null
if b_id(bp) >=id1 then
if b_id(bp) <= id2 then
sum = sum + pi*b_rad(bp)^2
end_if
end_if
bp=b_next(bp)
end_loop
pmeas = 1-sum/tot_vol
end

def final_poros
tot_vol = width*height
id1 = 1
id2 = 1200
get_poros
final_poros= pmeas
end

set x1=0.0 x2=9 y1=0 y2=5 id1=1 id2=50
make_block
set mult_a=mult
ini rad mul=mult_a c_index 0 range id 1,50
cycle 1000
prop fric 0.2
cycle 500

set echo off
set x0=9.1 y0=0.1 radius = 0.1
set id_start=1000 n_col=5 n_row=25
regular
set echo on

set x0=10.05 y0=2.35 radius = 0.05
set id_start=2000 n_col=5 n_row=2
regular
property density 2000 kn 1e8 ks 1e8

del wall 5

plot add ball lgreen lred
plot add wall black
plot show

Mencari tau rencana Tuhan

2008-12-12T20:56:00.000+08:00

Selama liburan yang seharusnya saya pakai untuk kerjain FYP ini, saya banyak mikir tentang apa yang saya harus lakukan habis kuliah di NTU ini. Begitu banyak pemikiran personal, obrolan dengan orang2 dekat, doa2 yang saya panjatkan mengenai hal ini.

Sampai hari ini, saya masih belum tau dengan pasti ama yang saya mau. Saya daftar master Erasmus Mundus, berharap bisa diterima dan belajar serta jalan2 di Eropa sana. Mencoba hidup baru yang saya ga pernah bayangkan. Tapi saya sendiri merasa motivasi yang ada di dalam diri saya ga begitu berakar. I mean, yang saya tau, itu prestigious, itu asik karena bisa jalan2, itu priceless karena bisa kenal orang2 baru dan lingkungan baru. Yang saya ga tau, apa saya siap jauh dari keluarga sejauh itu, apa saya siap tinggal di Eropa sana dengan gaya hidup yang berbeda, apakah hubungan saya dengan Tuhan somehow akan terabaikan di sana. Saya ngga tau dan saya takut untuk menjawabnya.

Kalo ditanya kenapa saya ga kerja, saya cuma bisa jawab, mumpung saya masih muda dan ada semangat belajar makanya mau sekolah lagi. Tapi kalo kerja juga ga apa2 sih, I mean, I know I am able to. Tapi entah kenapa, I dun feel like working in Singapore. Saya simply jenuh dan agak enggan buat kerja di Singapore. Saya tau saya sangat comfortable di sini dengan teman2 yang dekat di hati, situasi yang sangat convenient, kehidupan menggereja yang juga lumayan terjaga, tapi entah kenapa dorongan hati saya ga ke situ.

Kalo mau jujur, sebenarnya saya ingin pulang Indonesia. Berkali2 teman2 bilang, betapa sayang, udah kuliah di Singapore kemudian balik ke Indo dan belom jelas mau ngapain. Sebenernya, saya mau pulang Indo kenapa? Saya mau lanjutin les piano yang tertunda, saya mau melakukan hal2 lain kayak les bahasa Jerman, belajar nyetir or anything similar. I mean, beristirahat sejenak dari rutinitas belajar dan mengerjakan engineering stuffs. I know kalo itu berarti agak buang2 waktu dan buang2 biaya. Tapi, dengan di Indo, saya bisa deket keluarga, the best treasure in life. Saya mau spend waktu sampa orang tua di rumah selagi ada kesempatan. Saya juga yakin di Indo, saya bisa tetep bertumbuh dalam Tuhan, Tuhan pasti tunjukkan tempat dimana saya bisa grow and serve. Simply, ini pilihan yang paling menguntungkan. Even saya mau kuliah master, pasti bisa. dengan biaya yang lebih terjangkau tentunya. Saya bisa sambil nge lesin piano ato pelajaran, get paid, use the money wisely.

Tapi again, semakin dipikir semakin saya bingung. Saya tau Tuhan akan bantu saya mengambil keputusan. Saya tau Tuhan pasti sediakan rencana yang terbaik buat saya. Tugas saya, listen to Him. And that is the mos difficult part. Ambisi dan my personal agenda disturb me from listening to His voice..

Saturday, 13 December 2008

2008-12-12T20:36:00.000+08:00

I believe in Jesus
as I believe that the sun has risen
not only because I see it
but because by it
I see everything else

- C.S. Lewis

funny stuff

2008-12-10T20:20:00.000+08:00

got to share this

http://www.animaltalk.us/for/Animals/what-chefs-do-when-they-are-bored/

interesting, isn't it?

final year project

2008-12-10T06:31:00.000+08:00

ada orang bilang, sekali kita sighing (menghela napas), satu blessing lewat mampir. jadi saya ga mau sighing. nanti blessing saya kebawa kabur angin =p

FYP saya simply stuck. sebenernya saya mau salahin diri sendiri, tapi daripada discouraging saya mau salahin keadaan. software yang saya pake itu pake hardlock, dan hardlocknya lagi ditahan di LAB karena mau diganti sama versi baru. jadi saya ga bisa analysis deh. software nya ga mau jalan kalo ga pake lock. bisa modelling sih, tapi saya mikir ngapain juga saya modeling kalo akhirnya harus nunggu itu hardlock buat analyze. jadi saya males2an dulu boleh ga?

GA. jawabannya ya NGGA. saya udah memutuskan stay di singapore buat ngerjain FYP ini. walaupun sup saya udah pulang hari ini *pura2 ga tau hari ini dia balik*, saya harusnya bisa ngerjain something sampe tanggal 21 kan. HAIZ. I did something, but not related to FYP. beresin kamar, jogging, beresin lemari, sapu2, packing2, cari titipan orang rumah, yeah gitu deh...

Rencana hari ini mau rajin, tapi mana?? Janji surga... huffff..... gpp gpp i still have one more week. And I am really homesick now. Pengen majuin tanggal pulang sebenernya. tapi takut kualat. hahaha. AAARRGGGHHH mau nangisssssssss pengen pulangggggggg. somebody hug me please... ><

girls day out

2008-12-04T20:40:00.000+08:00

morning...
called my FYP sup, told him I would come, discussed few things with him, headed back to my room, waited till my rommie ready to go

afternoon...
VivoCity, went round and round 3 times, bought some christmas cards for friends, my roomie bought a pair of beautiful shoes

late afternoon...
couldn't help myself form buying a very elegant black clutch, yes a party bag, for ko erwin's wedding and another occasions in the future. I am a young lady, I need to have a clutch, don't I?
I brought a cardigan, because my roomie wanted to buy one and they are $20 for 2. So, we got one each.

I am broke now. But I am happy. LOL. udah lama ga shopping. Lagian, gua butuh wot (excuse paling jitu).

Adios Dhika, have a safe flight and see you next year. Will be missing you ;)

enough for now

2008-12-03T18:11:00.000+08:00

like i said
i might want more of you
i might want to be treated more special in a way
i might want to spend more time just with you

but it turns out that i am just another friend
it is okay. as long as you stay with how you are now
it's enough. i am happy enough
though i know i am not the only one, it is okay

it is just a feeling at one moment in time
i know i won't feel this way again tomorrow
it's just the feeling of wanting to be wanted
maybe it's just another time of me being so annoyed with loneliness

i say to myself over and over again
hey, look around and see
many people love you and care about you
you are not alone and you are not lonely

yeap, i know, allow me to spit this just this time
only this time, please.. can I?
i will come back as the usual me tomorrow okay
with big smile and twinkling eyes

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

2008-12-02T18:23:00.000+08:00

I guess I never told you properly
how much you mean to me
I missed the time we laughed and told each other's stories
i missed the time when you said yes to whatever invitation I made
I missed the meal we had no matter how expensive it was

I guess I am just missing you too much
It's my fault, i have never been brave enough to start
never mind
as long as you know, you are important to me

another year will go by
we are not the same as we were back then
but the memories I will keep forever
hope you are doing well ;)

learn pipe organ

2008-11-30T18:01:00.000+08:00

Today the organist in St Mary told me that he will teach me how to play the pipe organ in case he can't come one day. So excited to learn. .Actually the organ in St Mary is not really pipe organ, I think it is hybrid organ. will check the brand tomorrow. excited. :)

will come almost everyday for the weekday mass to play. it is better than just spending my time watching dunno-what movies haha.

snow

2008-11-27T20:57:00.000+08:00

okay
i want a white Christmas badly
i really do
gosh...
can snow falls in South East Asia?
once...
at least....

if not
than just make me have a dream
of snow falling on my head
with me standing with someone special
with the smile of my whole family
perfect... LOL, dream on big girl!

Today was a secret I'll tell someday

2008-11-27T18:28:00.000+08:00

Okay,
so today was exciting and tiring
I am super happy though
HUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

okay, interesting stuffs
I like Pocky. I dunno if I like Rocky. I decided not to buy. Too dangerous for me :p

I had this as my dessert for dinner. It was SUPER DELICIOUS. Gosh! It's been a long long time since I enjoyed my meal so much. I mean it was really really yummy. The cake has chocolate filling inside and it is hot, it is melting, and it is flowing down from inside when you cut the cake.

The ice cream is vanilla flavor. As expected, it is cold.

So cold vs hot. gosh! love it so much.

Can't tell the most interesting part though. maybe later. or never. i will keep that in mind for sure ;)

Why women cry?

2008-11-26T20:56:00.000+08:00

I have got an email from a friend. I'd like to share though one of a friend, a boy replied that he still does not understand why women cry, LOL...

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry..

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said

"When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Teman

2008-11-26T12:19:00.000+08:00

saya selalu berharap
bisa ketemu friend for life
saya berusaha sekuat tenaga
menjadi friends for life buat orang lain

tapi saya juga selalu merasa
ga pernah ada effort yang cukup
untuk menjadi teman terbaik untuk seseorang
i just become the most ordinary friend for one

i hate to be ordinary
i want to be extra ordinary
iya saya yang salah
saya yang arogan dan kebanyakan mau

tak apa
teman itu anugrah Bapa
saya treasure everyone of them
in the proportion that I am able to

saya mencoba mengasihi
tanpa harus mencampuri
saya mencoba ada
tanpa harus berteriak saya ada

cukup bagi saya menjadi passerby
cukup bagi saya tau kalau saya pernah
buat teman-teman bahagia
walaupun hanya sekali, itu cukup

images from www.gettyimages.com

Monday, 24 November 2008

2008-11-24T17:53:00.000+08:00

Hari ini saya pergi jalan2 ke IKEA and Anchor Point. Sama siapa? Sendiri. Sendiri? Iya, sendiri. Saya suka koq jalan2 sendiri, ga harus ga enakan karena saya lama muter2nya, ga repot milih tempat makan, ga harus menghadapi awkward moment memikirkan harus ngobrolin apa. Yah, ga selalu sendiri itu enak. Cuma untuk tadi, karena perginya mendadak juga, daripada saya tidur melulu, mending saya pergi. Ya udah deh, pergi sendiri ;) Alhasil, ga beli apa2 koq. Cuci mata sambil mimpi2 punya rumah n nge dekor rumah dengan barang2 IKEA. LOL.

Inti cerita bukan pas saya jalan2 di IKEA ataupun Anchor Point. Tapi pas di MRT. huff. Ada satu orang bapak, lagi telepon pake HP, sambil teriak2. *sampe hujan lokal kena idung saya*. Sempet pissed off tapi yah, pas saya curi dengar (maap, Pak. Ga sengaja), rasanya si Bapak lagi ada kesulitan uang. Dia telepon ke orang yang dia panggil Mommy (bukan mommy aslinya kayanya), bilang gini : "My life is not then cents, mommy. you keep delaying, two weeks, than another two weeks, another two weeks, I need money to feed my family, you know". Huff. Then, teleponnya kayanya dimatiin terus sama si Mommy ini, jadi orang ini harus nelpon berulang kali. ngomong hal yang sama ke si Mommy ini.

Habis telepon, dia duduk di koridor MRT, sambil ngomong sendiri. Kayanya sih lagi misuh2, ngomel2 sendiri, dan in the end, dia nangis. Miris banget liatnya. Saya juga bingung harus gimana, ga tega liatnya, tapi saya takut dan ga kepikiran mau ngapain juga...

Dan orang2 di sekitar termasuk saya yang curi2 pandang dan curi2 dengar tentunya, pasang ekspresi muka yang beda2. Ada yang kesel (tu orang teriak2 soalnya), ada yang ngumpet2 liat dari belakang koran, ada yang liatin dengan muka prihatin, ada juga yang ngomongin dia (pake bahasa lain tentunya), ada yang pura2 liat tempat lain sambil sekali2 ngelirik (ini saya).

Saya cuma bisa berdoa dalam hati, moga2 Tuhan kasih jalan keluar ke dia. Sebelum dia jadi lebih tertekan dan akhirnya lost his mind. I hope he won't.

Pelajaran hari ini : banyak orang bukan berarti ga kesepian. Kesepian bisa menghidupkan dan juga mematikan.

Thank God, kesepian yang pernah dan sedang saya rasakan belom sampe tahap itu.

Lord, I pray for those people who are lonely and depressed, may your love accompany and comfort them. Amen.

*Pictures from www.gettyimages.com

Twilight (The Movie)

2008-11-24T05:48:00.000+08:00

I am going to watch this movie next weekend. In Johor Baru. Since it will only launch on Dec 18th in Singapore (dunno what reason). It will play in Malaysia starting on Nov 27th. The worst thing is it will play in Indonesia starting on Feb 2009. Can you imagine the gap? Thankfully I am only a miles away from Malaysia.

Super excited. The soundtrack was the first demanded on the list some time ago. Moreover, the cast for James is cute. Jacob is also not bad. Jasper is also handsome. Gosh. I am starting to love boys with letter J.

Sunday, 23 November 2008

2008-11-23T17:39:00.000+08:00

Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something...

means?

2008-11-21T21:18:00.000+08:00

What Naomipratiwi Means

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.
Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.
Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

count your blessings and help others in need

2008-11-21T13:52:00.000+08:00

sedang berpikir,
banyak sekali orang yang... begitu gampang.. di let down sama masalah2 kecil. oke mungkin banyak yang bilang, mungkin itu kecil buat orang luar yang lihat, tapi itu masalah besar buat yang mengalami. hmm. it might be true. everybody has their own problems, it's true juga. tapi juga bukan berarti kita harus lihat masalah sebegitu gedenya kan...

kalo lagi banyak masalah coba liat ke bawah. jangan liat ke atas. liat yang kurang, bukan liat yang lebih. kalo lagi ngerasa sepi dan helpless, bayangin orang2 kelaparan, mereka lebih helpless. ato bayangin orang2 yang harus dikirim ke negeri mana buat berperang, mereka lebih sepi pasti. kalo lagi berasa weary karena harus belajar, bayangin orang yang pengen banget sekolah tapi ga bisa sekolah. See, we are blessed in so many ways. dan itulah kenapa, menurut saya ga baik buat dwell in sadness and sorrow like we are the most miserable person in the world. Kadang moarning itu memang perlu, tapi sampe batas tertentu. harus bisa mengubahnya jadi suatu motivasi dan dorongan untuk menghidupi hidup dengan lebih baik...

Saya juga paling ga suka kalo ada orang ngeluh ga ada temen, ga ada yang perduli. selalu sendiri and bla bla bla. Gosh, look around. many people do care. but you are too blind to see it. Saya juga paling kesel sama orang yang kalo stress bilangnya mau mati segampang bilang mau pipis. ga tau apa kalo hidup itu gift paling berharga yang dikasih Tuhan...

liat ke sekeliling. banyak yang lebih ga beruntung. dan kita ada untuk membantu mereka. bukannya mengeluh as if masalah kita lebih menyedihkan..

random post doank sih. ga ada maksud apa2. buat ingetin saya juga kalo lagi error :p

any suggestion

2008-11-19T20:39:00.000+08:00

here is the deal, i have finished my exam while my other friends haven't. So, I can't play with them, I can't disturb them, I can't ask them to go with me.

I am planning to start FYP next week. I want to relax a bit after such a long war (1 week not that long though).

Can anyone tell me any entertainment which is free, other than watching movie online? I am sick of it. I don't play games that much. I want to keep my novels for December, so I can't start reading them now (they are not free anyway).

So, anything in mind?

Keith Urban - Tonight I Wanna Cry

2008-11-19T18:04:00.000+08:00

*spoiler : this song is quite sad, just skip if you want to keep your mood high =p *

I found this song in someone's note in Facebook today. It is not really what I am feeling at the moment. I once felt this way though. And I am sure I will feel this way again some time in the future. not in the near time, I hope. So, these are the lyrics

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

(Chorus:)
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

something I learnt

2008-11-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

i just realized whenever I approach finish line
instead of running faster and with more spirit
I tend to slow down and lose spirit
maybe i am too tired, maybe i am just too easily satisfied

now is 3 am in the morning
i will have another exam tomorrow at 9 am
and this is the result of skipping lectures
and daydreaming while lectures

i tend to do less in something i don't like
something i am not interested in
which is not good for my future
sometimes we don't have any other choice than do it and face it

so, this is my consequence
i do not regret
at least i have learned something
i should put more attention to this in the future

finish line is just a meter away, run faster or your 50km will be useless...

David Archuleta - You Can

2008-11-18T14:48:00.000+08:00

You Can - David Archuleta

Mmmmm....

Take me where I've never been,
Help me on my feet again.
Show me that good things
come to those who wait.
Tell me I'm not on my own.
Tell me I won't be alone.
Tell me what I'm feelin' isn't some mistake.
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, You can.

Save me from myself, you can.
And it's you and no one else.
If I could wish upon tomorrow,
Tonight would never end.
If you asked me, I would follow.
But for now, I just pretend.
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, You can.

Baby, when you look at me,
Tell me, what do you see?
Are these the eyes of
someone you could love?
'Cause everything that brought me here,
Well, now it all seems so clear.
Baby, you're the one I've been dreamin' of.
If anyone can make me fall in love, You can.

Only you can take me sailin'
in your deepest eyes.
Bring me to my knees and make me cry.
And no one's ever done this,
Everything was just a lie.
And I know, yes I know...

This is where it all begins,
So tell me it'll never end.
I can't fool myself,
It's you and no one else.
If I could wish upon tomorrow,
Tonight would never end.
If you asked me, I would follow.
But for now, I just pretend.
If anyone can make me fall in love, You can.

Show me that good things
come to those who wait

intermezzo

2008-11-17T18:04:00.000+08:00

hmmmphhhh
saya ga teliti lagi
penyakit lama yang ga pernah hilang
ya sudah, sudah lewat, sesal tak guna

saatnya buka kumpulan lecture notes baru
saatnya menghadapi exam yang lain
tanpa harus berharap terlalu tinggi
tidak juga tak berharap apa2

simply come, do, and leave with lifted face
smile that I have done what I can do at the time
i can do more for sure
but not at that time, maybe another time

i dun want to be those people who sit with exhaustion
i want to be that person
who could see what is ahead rather what was behind
i have done what i could do, that should be enough

mama, kangen nih

2008-11-15T23:36:00.000+08:00

mama
pa kabar di sana?
kangen...
udah pagi gini, belum juga bisa bobo

mama
tau ga sih ma
kalo di rumah ga bisa tidur
biasa liatin mama bobo =p

pagi2 bangun juga carinya mama
liat mama masak apa
kalo tau2 mama pergi
sedih deh ga diajak, sedih bangun kesiangan

paling seneng temenin mama ke pasar
bantuin mama masak
liatin mama kasih bumbu
berharap suatu hari bisa jadi seperti mama

duh mama
kangen berat nih
pengen rasanya dipeluk
di sini ga ada yang mau meluk =p

mama pasti udah merem
besok pasti bangun pagi
doain ya ma
mau ujian nih

ntar pas pulang desember
kita jalan2 ya
girls day out haha
ato mau coba clubbing mah *udah gila*

eh salam deh buat papa
kapan2 nomi kangenin papa
sekarang kangen mama dulu boleh donk
tuhan berkati mama

*hugs and kisses*
noni

Cinderella - Steven Curtis Chapman

2008-11-14T21:37:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUk5SZ18

She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you

There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

She will be gone

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

Structures 3 + Adv. Steel Design + random things

2008-11-14T06:45:00.000+08:00

just for my reminder...

Structures 3 exam will be 5 questions. 1(Truss displacement+rotation), 2(critical load using UDM matrix), 3(beam displacement+rotation), 4(frame, this one I will not choose), 5(critical load using differential method). So, hopefully I will be able to do this well.

Adv. Steel Design will be 4 questions. 1(truss analysis-connection check using CHS and RHS), 2(portal frame analysis and design), 3(multistorey frame + connection design), 4(plate girder). hmph... tough tough tough. nvm. still have time to catch up.

Random thing : CEM is really not interesting for me. no motivation even to finish reading the notes. haiz... why should i learn all of these ><

2nd random thing: I have listed down my wishlist novels and books for holiday (yeeey). I will buy Come Be My Light (about Mother Teresa) this weekend and will finish next week after my exams :) Others can wait :p

3rd random thing: I am thinking of buying dresses. I have so many occassions to attend which allows me to wear dress. I like wearing dresses, btw. But I rarely have the chance to wear it. Kind weird to wear dress to school :p My bad, it should be okay, shouldn't it? :p

4th random thing: I am bored. I am lazy. I am bad. today, I should finish my target. i MUST!

All the best for exams everybody!

CV4202 first battle this sem

2008-11-12T12:37:00.000+08:00

Generally, it was okay. I was satisfied. I could remember what I should remember. The hard part is to relate the points with the question. yeah it's over and time to concentrate to next exams.

Okay, during the exam. there is this one guy who has a very very bad scent. I know that this is unavoidable. but doesn't he know an invention called deodorant. He could try to use some to reduce the scent. uuuggghhhh it made me dizzy, I can't stand it!!

anyway, the headache still remains. I need to take panadol soon. I can;t sleep. :(

exam

2008-11-11T00:30:00.000+08:00

udah minggu exam nih. saya lagi takut sebenarnya. examnya mepet. waktu persiapan saya jadi sedikit. hmph. yasu belajar dulu. dadah

Jacob Black vs Edward Cullen

2008-11-08T07:21:00.000+08:00

I am a werewolf. Means that I am more suitable for Jacob, unlike Bella in Twlight series. Jacob is younger, big, and very warm. I think I know who is he in real life. LOL. The other guy is more like Edward, cold but somehow romantic. But blogthings said I'd better bea werewolf than a vampire :p

You Are a Werewolf

You are moody and easily provoked.
You are highly loyal and protective of those you love.

While you can be intense at times, you are generally a laid back person.
But if a fight comes your way, you will fight 'til the death if necessary.

You seem normal to most people. No one understands how different you can be.
It's like a switch flips for you sometimes - and then you're a completely different creature.

Are You a Vampire or a Werewolf?

number

2008-11-08T07:15:00.000+08:00

Your Expression Number is 7

Very intelligent, you are usually thinking, introspecting, or analyzing.

You have a good mind, and you are especially good at finding out the truth.

Very little ever escapes your observation and deep understanding.

You tend to obsess over wisdom and hidden truths.

You are likely to become a authority on any subject you undertake.

Operating on a different wavelength, most people don't know you that well.

Very logical and rational, at times you tend to lack emotion.

So much so, that you often have times coping with emotional situations.

You are not very adaptable - you may tend to be overly critical at times.

What's Your Expression Number?

Emi Fujita Concert + Tennis Lesson

2008-10-29T07:17:00.000+08:00

Suka Emi Fujita?

Saya suka.

Dia mau konser di Esplanade Singapore nih tanggal 13 Desember. Tapi tiketnya paling murah $58. Mengingat SGD yang semakin lama semakin mahal kalau dirupiahin, saya ga tega buat spend uang segitu buat nonton konser. Pasti worth it sih kayanya. I enjoy her voice very much... so peaceful and heartwarming.

Oh ya, saya ikutan Learn-to-play-tennis nya SRC loh. Mulai 10 Nov-12 Dec. Lumayan buat mengisi liburan (+exam). Daripada les di luar mungkin lebih mahal. Di NTU cuma bayar $10. Saya dari dulu pengen bisa main tennis soalnya. hehe moga2 berguna deh.

to-do list

2008-10-28T22:13:00.000+08:00

wed : structures 3 quiz, FYP meeting, profcomm meeting, exam mass

thurs: adv. steel design quiz, refine fyp

fri: assignment ID, musmin, yearbook meeting

sat:wedding choir practice, psalmist for youth mass all saints' day

sun : all souls' day mass

tue:ID quiz &assignment due

fri:profcomm presentation

anything I missed out? hope not. yeah, I can do it ^^

anyth-ing but study-ing

2008-10-27T21:50:00.000+08:00

ask me what have i done during the long weekend?

MANY THINGS!

other than

STUDYING

I have quizzes on Wed and Thurs. 1 assignment due Fri.

Ask me what have i done for my fyp recently?

DUN WANT TO TELL

Save me!

random things

2008-10-25T21:27:00.000+08:00

ada 5 bus 179 mengantri di bus stop Canteen A pada jam non-rush hour. ANEH, perlu ya segitu banyak? hahaha

steamboat di Can B. Beijing something stall. SUPErB! wITH $6, portion for 2/3 ppl. It was totally worthed it. ENAK BANGET... dagingnya super banyak... it is available from 4-9 pm only

iseng ngewarnain kuku orang pas belajar pake stabilo. hahahaha. he couldn't erase it. hahaha maap. iseng,,,

tanganku terlihat seperti tangan orang boncel. kecil banget. bukan kecil sih. pendek gendut. salah orang yang punya tangan satunya. dede ku yang sangat besar itu. hahahaha

ingatkan aku

2008-10-25T13:38:00.000+08:00

ingatkan aku
kalau sampai suatu hari nanti
aku terlalu nyaman
sampai tak ingin pergi

ingatkan aku
kalau aku pernah bahagia
sedang bahagia
dan akan lebih bahagia

ingatkan aku
kalau ada yang meninginkan aku
di luar sana
entah dimana

ingatkan aku
kalau hidup tak hanya
melulu tentang itu
masih ada yang ini

ingatkan aku
kalau mau ga mau
aku harus bisa
tanpa dia

ingatkan aku
BENTAR LAGI EXAM
STOP DOING RUBBISH
AND START REVISING MY SUBJECTS!!!!!

~!@#$%^&*()_(*&^~!@#$%^&

ingatkan aku

2008-10-25T13:34:00.000+08:00

ingatkan aku

Anxiety

2008-10-22T06:46:00.000+08:00

OK, I know that anxiety is not good, if it discourages us to do things. It can become good if we can use it as a source of motivation of eagerness to see how things turn out.

I am anxious right now.
I didn't do as much as I could
I didn't think as hard as I should

I am becoming a person I don't recognize.

Rescue me!

The Integrity of Truth

2008-10-19T20:10:00.000+08:00

Belakangan ini saya lagi mikir tentang hal ini. soalnya belakangan ini banyak masalah terjadi di sekitar saya, ngga melibatkan saya sih sebenernya, tapi bikin saya mikir. Apalagi waktu Friday Mass kemaren, Fr Gitner juga kasih preaching tentang hal ini. dan saya rasa title nya sangat pas... Integrity of Truth

Kadang kita itu mau play safe, avoid quarells and argumentations, by either not saying anything or saying something contrary to the truth. Both of them is still the same, not saying the truth. Apa itu bener? Apa sebaiknya kita mending blak2an bilang, tentu aja dengan bahasa yang halus. Soalnya kalo misal kita ada ga suka sesuatu dari seseorang, apakah lebih baik kita diem aja, pura2 baik2 aja di depan orang itu, ato mending bilang ke orang itu hal apa yang bikin ga suka?

Saya ada kenal orang yang sangat menjunjung tinggi integrity of truth. Dia kalo ga suka, pasti maunya ngomong langsung ke orangnya. Blak2an, sayangnya pilihan kata2nya kadang kurang tepat, jadi pernah bikin nangis orang lain gara2 mengkritik orang tersebut. Ada lagi yang memilih untuk diem, not letting the other party knows that there is something wrong, in the end merasa capek buat berurusan dengan orang ini.

Saya sendiri tipe orang ya memilih untuk ngasih tau orang yang saya ga suka, dengan catatan, saya ngerasa orang itu penting untuk tau, saya pengen dia berubah jadi lebih baik, dan saya juga pengen dia tau kalo saya ada ga suka. rasanya ga pantes aja buat ngomong di belakang. TAPI kalo saya merasa orang itu rada ga deket sama saya, saya sih diem aja. Saya ngerasa ga gitu penting juga buat dia tau, in the end, saya malah jadi ngomongin di belakang, which is not a correct attitude, I guess.

Kalo integrity of truth ini ga di fulfill kita sama aja kaya hypocrites donk. dari wiki :
Hypocrisy (or the state of being a hypocrite) is the act of preaching a certain belief, religion or way of life, but not, in fact, holding these same virtues oneself.

saya ga mau jadi hypocrite.. kamu gimana?

Motivation and Determination

2008-10-14T10:32:00.000+08:00

Ada 2 hal yang saya paling rindukan saat ini, yang saya dulu miliki tapi sekarang entah kemana perginya : motivation and determination.

Saya masih punya tujuan yang jelas untuk menjalani semua, tapi entah kenapa, energi dan tekad untuk spend time and give full concentration to accomplish things has dimished over time.

1 taun lalu, saya mengenal diri saya sebagai orang yang penuh dengan motivasi dan determinasi dalam melakukan sesuatu. Kalo saya ingin, saya usaha, saya pasti bisa. Saya tau kalo saya mau berhasil, saya harus rela mengorbankan hal-hal tertentu dalam hidup.

Sekarang, saya berkorban waktu tidur aja ga mau... haiz... NGANTUK!

Thought of the day

2008-10-08T20:11:00.000+08:00

I just want to share some points from Fr Gitner's preaching today during Wednesday Mass.

The gospel for today is about disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray. As they saw Jews, praying now, praying then, praying here, and praying there, they were touched seeing how Jesus prayed to His Father. They saw relationship there, they saw peace and Jesus radiated something that was somehow different for them. and Jesus told them a prayer that now we know it as Our Father prayer.

There is a significant different between saying a prayer and pray. One involves mind, while the other one involves heart. We can say a prayer without meaning the words that we are saying. But when we pray, we connect with God, we build a relationship with Him. and that's the point of praying. To build a relationship, to connect with him.

We can take an analogy in our daily life.

When we are with our friends, in this case acquaintances, sometimes we may talk a thousand words without meaning. Even we have talked for hours, we may feel a bit empty. But when we are with our bestfriends/partner, we can walk a ten kilometers path together in silence, without any guilty feeling, without any obligation to break the silence, without any uneasiness feeling. Silence that ironically gives us a thousand meaning. Silence that comforts. Maybe just a bit of words, here and there, and we may feel satisfied and thankful for that moment. It is because we have (what I mean by) a relationship. A connection or you may want to call it a chemistry.

And sometimes, being a sanguine person, it is difficult for me to have this kind of silence.
That is why, maybe for some people, loneliness is horrible. But for me, sometimes this is exactly what I need and what I want. Yeah, I enjoy loneliness (to some extent, of course) because that is the time when I actually have the chance to talk to God and myself.

But stil, I do want to have someone whom I can have this kind of beautiful silence, someday.. :)

Novels

2008-10-08T19:52:00.000+08:00

Setelah sekian lama, finally I found my old passion which is READING NOVELS. yes, it's been a very long time since I finished my last novel : The Memory Keeper's Daughter.

Now, I am planning to read Stephenie Meyer's novels : Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. I became more excited when I found out that the 1st novel, Twilight, will be visualized into movie. Wew, it will be released on 21 November 2008. Can't wait to watch :p I will finish reading then very very soon :p

--

2008-10-06T23:24:00.000+08:00

~ I don't know what the future holds, but I'm excited about making the journey with YOU by my side ~

itu salah satu quotes yang ada di board meja belajar saya. bener2 jadi kalimat favorit saya belakangan ini. Saya tau Tuhan sayang sama saya, dengar doa doa saya, ga pernah tinggalin saya. Thank you Lord.

- hanya sekedar ungkapan cinta buat sang Pencipta

and it begins

2008-10-06T06:36:00.000+08:00

setelah liburan di jakarta
setelah serangan kuis dan assignment yang bertubi2
setelah ICN
setelah urusan lain diselesaikan
tibalah saatnya
saya untuk
kerja fyp lagi

hahahaha
never ending story i guess
abis itu ada exam
gpp lah daripada mikirin yang ngga ngga
mendingan kaya begini

ganbate semuanya... i know you are all busy as well. sampe menggila :p
semangat ya :)

today used to be so special

2008-10-04T22:15:00.000+08:00

argh
mellow lagi
bete

tanggal 5 oktober
used to be special
hufff
harusnya saya sudah bisa lepasin
tapi kayanya belum deh

grrrrr
ya udah
belajar lagi aja lah...

Future... MY Future

2008-10-02T07:32:00.000+08:00

Huff.. actually I shouldn't think too much about this. I still have lots of assignments and quizzes to work on. But, unfortunately, I can't. Especially when the deadline of MSc application is getting nearer.

I want to work as professionals. I want to pursue further study. I want to work and study in Singapore. I want to experience living in other part of the world, in this case, Europe. It has been my dream to travel and probably live there. Travel, accomplished last summer. Left one, yeah, and it seems that the chance is there.

Like I said to some friends, I am a type of person who will fight for my dreams. Even when there seems to be no chance, I will fight to find the opportunity. Opportunity does not come to me, I search for it and when I get it, I wouldn't be willing to let go. So...

Erasmus Mundus... please stop occupying my mind for these 2 weeks. I will think about you later on. okay?

I was blessed and I am still blessed :)

2008-09-19T10:14:00.000+08:00

Fuuhhhh, akhirnya saya mulai tenang, I mean ga cuma tenang sih, I am much more better than yesterday. Setelah renungan malam, saya somehow disadarkan, how small my problems are compared to others'. Last night, I was urged to open one of my book, given by my bestfriend, titled Love Letter from God. Ada satu kalimat yang bener2 bikin saya bangun dari tidur.

"...sekali-kali manusia bisa terluka. Dulu pun kamu pernah terluka, tapi luka itu tidak mengalahkanmu. Dan sekarang, kamu terluka dan yakinlah luka itu tidak akan mengalahkanmu. Kalau kamu coba pikir kembali, persoalan kamu itu sangat amat kecil dibanding persoalan yang mungkin menimpa orang lain. Kekalahan itu disebabkan bukan karena kamu tidak bisa menghadapi suatu persoalan, tapi kamu kalah karena kamu percaya bahwa kamu akan kalah..."

So, iya nih, jadi malu sendiri. cuma masalah laptop rusak dan persoalan2 kecil lain bikin saya super bete. ga pantes ah. hahaha... harus dihadapi dengan berani, optimis, dan penuh iman :). Semua pasti ada jalan keluar, pasti ada akhirnya. Kalo emang harus beli laptop lagi, ya sudah, nanti nabung lagi buat ganti uang ke ortu. moga2 masih cukup rejeki buat cari laptop sederhana. lagian saya ga pake laptop buat macem2 amat, asal bisa buat buka email ama chatting lah. hahahah oh iya, sama buat kerjain FYP. hehehehe

Kemaren sempet merasa sendirian banget, biasanya ada si ***** yang jadi tempat sampah ya. saya nahan diri banget2 biar ga sms dia. hehehe. takut kebawa emosi sesaat. And guess what, when I prayed, I was really comforted :). He never leaves me :) And He sent a lot of people actually to accompany me. argh senangnyaaaa....

oke deh, so hari baru, semangat baru :) I was blessed and I am still blessed. Thanks God :)

Ma, Pa, I am coming home ^^

A Series of Unfortunate Events

2008-09-18T07:28:00.000+08:00

Hush, I know that complaining will neither give me any help, nor solving all the problems. But sometimes it's just necessary to spill out things, to comfort one's heart. Fuuuhhhh, these last 2 weeks have been miserably miserable. fuuuuh

1. I almost lost SGD$300 for the wrong flight ticket

2. I did stupid mistake during Structures 3 quiz yesterday

3. I accidentally spilled a glass of water onto my laptop last night. haiz...

I am too tired of all of these. Think that I should evaluate what went wrong. Evaluate myself. Focus on study and be more careful. Lord, help me...

About voluntary work

2008-09-17T13:13:00.000+08:00

hmmm Have I ever mentioned that I really do want to join any voluntary work/mission trip? yeah, actually since last semester I found it interesting and meaningful to join that kind of activity. I mean, you know, I love travelling. But I felt that travelling just for fun is not exactly what I wanted. I want to do something meaningful, for myself and for others.

So many times, it came across my mind to join here and there for this mission trip. But always, money is the constraint. I mean, I have money but I feel it's now really wise to spend it just like that, since I haven't earned it myself.

So, I chatted with one friend about mission trip to Nepal. Yes, Nepal. Wew, so exotic and I dun know why, the passion and excitement came once again. It will not be very expensive to live there, the expensive part is only the airflight ticket. I can teach English, help them to paint/build school, etc etc. After the program, I would be able to do trekking to Himalaya (gosh!), and trip to Tibet. Wew... it's very very unique and meaningful, isn't it?

I am disturbed now...

I am living in a crazy world T.T

2008-09-17T09:33:00.000+08:00

Yeah, indeed I am living in a crazy world. With people who do not care about the results of their effort to make money. I am sorry for being so racist, oh no, it's not racist by the way. Okay, here, I will just spit my dissapointment of the existence of some crazy people in China. SOME, I said.

I heard from a friend that has been there the last 6 months that they mix cardboard (kardus, I mean) with the meat for making pau. Yeah, daging dicampur kardus. You can't see it from outside, can you? Just watch out, you might eat cardboard T.T

Then, do you know that in China, there are fake eggs. Yeah, FAKE! Can you imagine, how smart they are. How brilliant they are, I must say. I quote from a website : "Xinhua has a report about artificial eggs that were apparently sold by a street vendor in Handan, Hebei Province. The report says that the man who took the eggs home found that the eggs' yolk and white were all mixed up, and di not have any flavor. After inspection by "relevant departments" it was found that the dodgy eggs' shells were made from calcium carbonate while the fake yolks were made from a mixture of gelatine, starch and other chemicals. "

Nice one. And now! They use melamine for milk production for babies. Yes, babies! Oh gosh, how can they even think to harm such innocent babies. I really really do not understand why there are such people... *sigh* . And now I am afraid what this world will be in the next 10 years, what kind of world that my children, my grandchildren will live in.

Belum lagi urusan es batu dari air got di Jakarta, global warming segala, buset deh!

Should I or should I not?

2008-09-15T11:14:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. here is the story. One day I read an ad in the Catholic News about the musical that will be held next year by SMOTA. It's called PAUL. you can refer to this website if you want to know more.

Now, the problem is I really want to join the musical, as a cast. I mean, I love acting and singing, I have joined about 3 musical production for these 4 years and I promise myself that I want to do it again when there is a chance. Now, the chance is there but the problem is that I am not sure if I can manage my time well to cope with the practices and all. True that I am not THAT busy currently, since my FYP is still in the starting phase, but who knows how it will be in the next coming months? And, the musical will be on 28 July 2009, which I am still not sure where I am going to be on that day. Graduation trip, hometown, further study in other country? Who knows....

*Yeah, I know I have missed ICN 2008. I initially wanted to join but somehow I could resist myself from joining since at that time I was quite busy with GTD ( I dunno that they will have practice around this time, if I knew, it would be a whole different story). But, never mind I still joined the Choir, so it's kinda paid off. *

Come back to the main issue. Yeah, I will still go to the audition and let us see what's next. I also registered to become the crew member, in case I couldn't get accepted for any cast. I know that I am not THAT good to become an actress or whatsoever, but I do love performing on stage. hahahaha I love being under the spotlight somehow :p

Yeah, sooooo let us see what will happen next. Belum tentu juga saya keterima, udah pusing duluan. hahahaha GR banget :p

what a stupid person i am

2008-09-10T12:51:00.000+08:00

hari ini melakukan kesalahan super bodoh

and it costs me SGD $200

ancurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

beli tiket pulang : jakarta - singapoer - jakarta. yeah! Great! I should buy Singapore - Jakarta - Singapore, aren't I? yeah... dun tell me how stupid i am. i know i am.

Crap....

Tango Romeo Alpha Victor Echo Lima

2008-08-21T12:12:00.000+08:00

*Title inspired by Adhika, he used this way to write his current personal msg in MSN*

Yeah, I really want to go for travelling now. It's not that I don't enjoy school or whatsoever, I just want to go travelling, it's not necessarily to a very far place, but simply a new place for me to explore..

I want to meet new people, get to know them, find new opportunities in life, expand my network, and enjoy doing anything I want.

uuuuuuuuuuuuu I will surely plan to go somewhere, backpacking for another time. I really miss that time...travel nowhere and sleep nowhere, eat dunnowhat and go by not-sure-what. LOL...met dunno-who and talk to sorry-who-are-you-again.

I guess it's time for me to cool down. it seems that my disorientation becomes more serious that ever before. :p

*hei you, can you please ignore me for some time, I've had enough*

gejala butuh bertapa

2008-08-15T11:28:00.000+08:00

gue kayanya emang bener2 butuh bertapa... lari ke gua... cari inspirasi... menenangkan diri...

ancur..dompet gue jatuh bisa2nya gue ga ngerasa... sampe ada orang dari CoE telpon suruh gue ambil dompet. ada yang balikin katanya kesana. gila aja, Tuhan baik banget, masih aja ada orang baik di NTU. hahahaha... maksudnya.. gue beneran amazed lah. mana duit juga ga sepeserpun hilang....

Jadi ya, di tengah gurun pasir kering ini, gue ketemu oase kebahagiaan. hahahaha... I guess I have met God today.

fuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh

2008-08-13T21:45:00.000+08:00

udah jam 2...

ga bisa tidur
pala pusing
banyak pikiran
banyak hal yang saya kawatirkan
saya juga ga tau apa
saya bener2 pengen jadi anak2 sekarang
ga banyak pikiran
ga banyak maunya...

tau begini, mending saya sibuk terus deh
daripada ada waktu buat melamun jadinya malah kaya gini
huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa T.T

pengen kembali ke jaman dulu...
waktu semuanya masih as perfect as I wanted
fuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*capek*
*dasar bego*

time of my life

2008-07-31T07:44:00.000+08:00

I’ve been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something
I could believe in
And looking for that
Magic rainbow
On the horizon
I couldn’t see it
Until I let go
Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn
Now I’m coming alive
Body and soul
And feelin’ my world start to turn

And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time
To be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

Holding onto things that vanished
Into the air
Left me in pieces
But now I’m rising from the ashes
Finding my wings
And all that I needed
Was there all along
Within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart

and I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

And I’m out on the edge of forever
Ready to run
I’m keeping my feet on the ground
My arms open wide
My face to the sun

I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
This is the time
This is the time of my life.
This is the time of my life.

The Time of My Life - David Cook

so over it...

2008-07-12T01:35:00.000+08:00

Feels like forever since my last post, doesn't it? LOL, too lazy to type anything, too many things going in and out my mind recently. So, just want to let it go in and out as they want. LOL.

Yeah, I am so over it. I mean, it's not that I dun think about it anymore, it's just I can handle it right now. Guess it's really time to tidy up myself. It's been 6 months already since then, anyway.

I've got good mark for my IA. enough to make smile and grateful. Hope I can do best for my FYP. I will, yeah I will. With God's grace...

*buat yang lagi struggling buat skripsinya, semangat selalu ya, didoain terus*

random things vol. 2

2008-06-20T17:47:00.000+08:00

- lagi pengen jalan2 lagi, entah kemana, ke jepang keq, ke hongkong keq, coba kalo jalan2 itu ga butuh uang, saya pengen banget keliling dunia. Tunggu sang pangeran yang mau bayarin saya keliling dunia deh. hahahaha

- lagi bosen sama kerjaan, minggu depan pulang indo sih, tapi cuma seminggu, huaaaaaaa... pengen lamaan.

- lagi pengen bikin kue
- lagi pengen berenang
- lagi pengen nonton bioskop
- lagi pengen sekolah lagi, kelas lagi, makan di kantin lagi
- lagi pengen peluk mama
- lagi pengen beresin kamar
- lagi pengen punya pacar :p

hahahahahahaha

Random things...

2008-04-15T19:42:00.000+08:00

1. Daily rosary selama exam udah dimulai, means I have chance to meet my friends more often
2. Someone cleared the stuffs below my desk. For 5 minutes, it was very very spacious, before some of the engineers start to put their A1 drawings around my desk.
3. I had dinner with my CEE fellows, SAKAE SUSHI at OUB centre. Nice chat, nice food, can't ask for more :)
4. I still haven't bought airplane ticket for 16-19 May. I haven't decided whether I want to go home or not.
5. I went to Holy Spirit Church for last weekend, 3 days in a row. I love it there. will come there more often, yeah in case I am "bored" with Novena Church.
6 I watched Orcherstra Concert from Universitat Sttutgart last Sunday. Amazing songs and amazing people :) Loved it!

My life has never been as wonderful as lately. Thank you Lord :) Love you more

Being 21

2008-04-09T19:54:00.000+08:00

Finally...today I am officially 21 years old ^^
Hmmm... a friend of mine says it is the time when a girl turns to a your lady, I hope I will succesfully turn into one LOL...but it will take time and please don't put hope so much on me.

Like I said, I do cherish everything in my life until now so much. My family, my friends and especially My Jesus. Thanks for all the wishes, the presents, the cards and more importantly for the love that I received from you all, not only today, but my entire life. I wish I could do more and give more to you all in return. Simply thank you and I promise, you have my prayers, definitely.

- I want to learn to be a humbler servant of God,
- I want to be more generous towards people in needs ( I really want to join a mission trip someday somewhere),
- I want to be a better friend for my loved ones, and
- I want to spend more time with my family if I had the chance :)

Thank you once again, love you so much...

Rhett and Link

2008-04-05T22:22:00.000+08:00

It started when I browsed for a Facebook anthem in Youtube, and jeez, I found these 2 amazing guys. They are... really...very...indeed hilarious. LOL.

http://www.rhettandlink.com

see what you find there. They are basically two good buddies since grade 1 in elementary, They make songs from ppl's idea: facebook, sudoku (what a theme!), homeschoolers, and velcro (o gosh, what is this?) But, they sound really nice. ^^ LOL can't stop listening to their music and see their videos. hahahaaaaa....There is one video when they dressed up like a gothic freak and oldies ppl...so funny :p

Selamat Paskah, Happy Easter :)

2008-03-23T06:42:00.000+08:00

CHRIST IS RISEN, HALLELUJAH!!!! Praise be to Jesus, our risen Lord!

Happy Easter to all! This is what our faith is all about. By His death, He destroys our death, and by rising, He restored our life to eternal life. Evil has no power against us. We have won this battle! If Jesus never rise from the death, our life is meaningless! So, let us rejoice and with all the choirs of angel, we sing unending hymn of praises for His glory is from age to age. Amen!

Gloria in excélsis Deo

Et in terra pax homínibus bonae voluntátis.

Laudámus te.

Benedícimus te.

Adorámus te.

Glorificámus te.

Grátias ágimus tibi propter magnam glóriam tuam,

Dómine Deus, Rex cæléstis, Deus Pater omnípotens.

Dómine Fili unigénite, Jesu Christe.

Dómine Deus, Agnus Dei, Fílius Patris.

Qui tollis peccáta mundi, miserére nobis.

Qui tollis peccáta mundi, súscipe deprecatiónem nostram.

Qui sedes ad déxteram Patris, miserére nobis.

Quóniam tu solus Sanctus.

Tu solus Dóminus,

Tu solus Altíssimus, Jesu Christe,

Cum Sancto Spíritu in glória Dei Patris. Amen.

Future MRT line

2008-03-21T14:37:00.000+08:00

Future Singapore MRT Line

Week 10 of IA

2008-03-08T20:48:00.000+08:00

Yeah...almost half done with my IA. Just want to list down my projects I have done during IA. 3 words : interesting, exciting, enriching ^^ Thanks God for giving me this company, can't be thankful enough...My purpose to list them is only for keeping this as my reference in the future, no one knows if I will lose my logbook someday. Ha3...My NTU Tutor will come next week, hopefully everything is going to be fine :) Yap, as promised, list of my projects

- Proposed Pasir Ris Sport Complex and Tampines Stormwater Tank : Design of fin wall (additional to diaphragm wall) and waler beam for the watertank

- Structural Inspection to LTA (Former KK Hospital)

- Beam Design AC (28-storey office in Battery Road)

- Learning Series: Design and Construction of Marine Cofferdam for Gatehouse Structure of Punggol Reservoir

- Soil design parameter : New Pathology, Education, Research Building at SGH

- Modelling and analysis of Raft and Column load taking for Fusionopolis Phase 2A

- Modelling and Design of Goal-post Truss of Esplanade Outdoor Theatre

- Consolidation Settlement using Prefabricated Vertical Drain and Surchaging : Dunman High School Upgrading Track and Field

- Revision on Design and Analysis of temporary earth retaining structure (strut, waler, and splay) of Labrador Park Station (Circle Line Stage 5)

Yeah, great experience with great people...once again thanks god

SIBUK BUSY OCCUPIED HECTIC...

2008-03-03T20:05:00.000+08:00

Hmmm....

Busy with life, NTU CSA Catholic Awareness Week, GTD Express + Indo Dinner + embel2nya, IA yang mulai menggila, cucian yang menggunung, benar2 serasa jadi carrer woman. Ha3....udah lewat satu LISC :) Thanks God, once again, another wonderful experience :)

Doain saya, biar saya kuat dan ga jatuh sakit. Amin

These last 3 weeks

2008-01-27T05:00:00.000+08:00

Fuuuuuhhhhh...

At last, I funally have time to write something here. These last 3 weeks have been a very hectic and busy life for me. Yeah, not to mention about my 6am-8pm IA, I was busy sleeping as well. Ha3.

Talking about my IA, it has been a very wonderful, enriching, and exciting IA. I love my work though it is kinda tough, but I did learn a lot of new things.

Talking about my life, I miss to have a long chit chat with my friends. and I still miss him, the very same person...ga tau mau sampe kapan saya begini :(

Oke deh, today I am going to go to Orchard, looking for office attire and stuffs. I need to buy new novel, accompany me on my journey to my office. Ha3...

Adios...Welcome

2007-12-27T17:07:00.000+08:00

It is very near to the end of this year 2007, many things happened...and it changed my life quite drastically. Painful, yet enriching. Hmphhhhh...I am totally a different person, with different way of thinking and hopefully it is getting better.

So, I guess udah saatnya untuk move on, berusaha mengambil semua hikmah dari setiap kejadian yang ada, bersyukur untuk kesempatan yang Tuhan berikan kepada saya untuk mengalami apa yang saya alami akhir taun ini.

So... taun depan, saya akan mencoba hal-hal baru, hidup yang baru dengan semangat yang baru. intinya open my life to new opportunities and it includes open my heart buat orang baru ^^

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...kurelakan semua yang sudah berlalu. Yang tersisa hanya kata terimakasih dan maaf...

selamat datang 2008 :)