the subtle expression

It's no coincidence. I play that song around you so maybe you'll actually listen to the lyrics for once and know how I feel.

http://pleasefindthis.blogspot.com/

lazy pig

i have become a lazy pig lately. I know I must complete the rest of my fyp which I didn't manage to complete last week. But I just did not have the spirit to do it. I promised myself to do it this weekend, but look at me, i am wasting my time here...

i had a very fine week though. i finished Ransom My Heart by Mia Thermopolis (Meg Cabot), the novel is really really for adult! I watched Departures (very very recommended!), I went to a very fine and delicious dinner here and there, managed to attend daily mass+station of the cross, renewed my passport in KBRI after 3 hours waiting time...

Yeah, I did everything other than what I am supposed to do...

lalala~~~ i am such a lazy pig.

buang sampah

i guess you know exactly how it feels when the superhero inside of you is tired. I have always been the strong one, there is time when I do really become the weak one. "SOON" that you are referring is the main reason why I became so disappointed and stressed out. It's not as soon as I want it to be.

tapi again, kalo Tuhan kasih manis2nya doank, He doesn't love me enough. Karena Tuhan sayang, makanya gua dikasih pahitnya juga. Just need to take my time to cry and mourn, I will do what I need to do in the end. His grace is always enough in my life.

Love you Mama for being there and listen to me. You're the best!

balance

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

sendiri....

sedih menyadari kalo pas gua butuh, in the end, no one is really there to comfort...
sedih menyadari kalo kadang2 gua pun jadi temen yang kaya gitu...

sedih menyadari kalo ternyata orang2 ga segitu care nya...
at the very low point of my days, akhirnya sendiri juga... *sigh*

gpp lah ada Tuhan yang nemenin. He's all I've got and He's all I need...
cuma Tuhan yang setia.. cuma Tuhan yang ga pernah pergi dan selalu ada...
ga cuma waktu senang doank dia ada, pas sedih, pas bete, in whatever condition I am, He is there... iya at least I have Him...

fuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i can do it. i can do it. no matter what. i can do it.
masalah gua ga seberapa dibanding orang lain, ga ada apa2nya....
gua bisa gua mampu dan gua akan melewati ini semua....
sabar ya mi sabar, tenang mi tenang...

updates

i have signed the letter of appointment with LTA today, continued with medical check up in Orchard! hope I am healthy enough to work as a project engineer!

A bit drenched because of the rain! it's cat and dog rain, u know! I bought a new umbrella, coz I didn't bring mine. i will always bring one form now on.

finished my design project report last week, too bad the deadline was extended to next month! I should have rushed. but nvm at least i finished it!

working on my FYP report. due this Friday! I hope I will be on time to submit it, so next weekend I'll be as free as a bird! *make me remember of Flightless Bird song* A friend promised to go with me, tracking and sightseeing to Parks in Southern Ridges of Singapore! you better keep your promise!

endure a few more days! I can do it... He'll help me through it!

He's just too generous till it makes me greatly confused

hari ini datang juga, harusnya hari ini jadi hari judgement.
jadi tawaran kerja LTA sudah saya dapat hari jumat kemaren, dengan gaji perbulan 3300 SGD, iya saya tau, itu besar, apalagi di jaman resesi kaya begini kan.

dan minggu lalu juga, saya dikirimin email lagi tentang acceptance erasmus mundus saya. Jadi tinggal tunggu akhir bulan Maret, lalu urus visa. Saya udah kasih konfirmasi sih.

Tapi sekarang kejadian kaya gini. kerjaan di LTA seems very interesting dan itu somehow dream job saya dari dulu. jembatan, tunnel, dst dst. I like infrastructures. sedangkan master saya di bidang marine dan coastal, yang saya sendiri belom terlalu ekspos jadi saya ga tau apa saya bakal suka ato ngga. dulu itu daftar merely karena saya pengen keluar dari singapore, cari suasana baru, apalagi dibayarin. sopo toh yang ga mau...

cari kerja itu benernya cuma plan B. tapi sekarang dihadapkan sama pilihan, kerjaan saya menarik, bosnya juga oke, kemaren pas interview terakhir dia yang jadi interviewer, ramah, asik, dan lucu. gaji is really more than expected. saya jadi mikir. apa ini panggilan buat settle down, menabung, craving the future ya? tapi saya juga mau cari pengalaman tinggal di eropa sana, mumpung masih muda...huffff

pilihan sulit. makanya judul postingan ini pas banget. Tuhan itu kadang super baik sama saya, sampe saya bingung... hari ini harus kasih keputusan ke LTA, pengen minta ditunda kasih jawaban sampe akhir maret..

minggu depan ada 3 report due nih, living with math, offshore, dan FYP report...
a bit too hectic for me, but I know I will go through it. maybe not perfect, but I am gonna survive, for sure. He is kind, isn't He? He will help me, I know....